Hating you is the most exhausting, I don’t want to do it anymore…

No one likes to lose control. It’s a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task.
My weakness… is HIM, and every time I see him, I lose control of who I am. I tried hating him in order to keep him at bay, yet how could I hate someone I felt so comfortable around… I was always good at pushing people away… I still am. However, he never let go, he always was there. Around every corner he would appear, and that smile would take my breath away. First true love for me… at a distance. Never able to tell him how I felt feeling like I would be embarrassed if he laughted at me. So I kept it to myself, thinking this crazy crush would go away.

… It didn’t

And still there are times where it just gets away from you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall, and it’s scary as hell… except if there’s an upside to free falling you give your friends a chance to catch you.