Ever Feel Like Giving Up…

There are times in my life where I feel trapped, that I do not have options… Those times I would like to just curl up in bed and never leave my house until I am in better spirits. That day was yesterday for me… because I was thinking too much about what is going wrong in my life. Yet with no Internet, I just laid there watching movies with “sparky” and fell asleep again. Yet when I woke up I did not feel any better… I honestly hate those days.

I also try to measure myself up to my friends or siblings not sure why yet I do. I look at where my friends are in life and how they are ALL getting married, and seem to be settling down. That my sisters both have a significant other in their lives and seem more then happy to be with them. Then I look at my life where my significant other is “spalding” or “nike” *referring to a basketball and soccer ball* Do not think for one moment I am not enjoying my sportive life because I do, yet I just find there is no way I could juggle a guy in my life as well. With a little experience from past relationships that ended because of “spalding” or “nike… yet how do I just stop playing because “he” (whoever “he” is) wants me to…
Yes there are times where I wish I could have a guy in my life, because I want to be cuddled or be greeted when I come home from school or sports… yet then I realize that’s quite selfish of me. The only time I would see “him” would be in bed when I say good night…. my days are spent at school 8:30 until 7 sometimes later… I realize “he” would be working or in school yet my hobbies take up a significant amount of my time… Yes I do sit and think about bizarre things, not sure why though.
Thinking definitely hurts too much… therefore I think I will finish here for the night… *night*